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Coming back to giving up

Yes, he had a history of meditation practice and had moved through different schools, passing by various methods. A recurring theme though was surrender. Given the painful state of the world today, he would probably describe it as an inner gesture of giving up. There was a time when he thought that it was important to stick to one method, be committed to one school, but these days, after twenty years, he found that it was really okay to learn different approaches. He mostly saw it as looking at things in a museum.

For the past month he had joined an online course and really enjoyed the material they gave the participants to study. Now he could finally just jump into sections of the Pali Canon! The lineage itself seemed to place importance on a whole toolbox of methods and meditation topics, always encouraging the practitioners to explore for themselves what would be helpful. Sometimes it even sounded like the right answers and guidance would appear to them inwardly if they just asked. Moreover, commentary from a living tradition was also part of the material, so the practice was not only scripture-based, but also contextualised. So this was really nice to discover. However, another key element was the tendency to retreat from the world, whilst believing that one's own effort could create enough energy to become a stream enterer. Meditation sessions with deep stillness were wonderful. At the same time, though, it seemed as if, like a backlash, thinking mind and thoughts of worry appeared. One night he could hardly sleep. So it was a relief when he returned to listening to some other dhamma talks from a different lineage that advocated a more relaxed and flexible practice of sati. He felt that there was room for Other Power, because one could only just be present and aware, even if it sometimes meant getting lost in thought and just "remembering" after a while that the mind just took us for walk somewhere else.